Samantha Hoopes Is In Her Boyfriend's Instagram Comments Saying She Likes To Get Whipped

Look I don’t want to exaggerate here but I almost fucking fainted when I read that. I was like a cartoon with the eyes popping out and the jaw hitting the floor and all that business. I wish I could write about this in a language other than meathead, and I like to think I bring a tad bit more to the table on other subject matters, but this is the all I speak when it comes to talking about sex. My brain becomes depleted of blood and I just talk caveman. It’s a minor miracle I’m even writing words at all, rather than just attempting to spell out sounds. Because here’s some straight facts for you: there is nothing sexier than a girl talking about sex. I’m talking just regular sex. Some girl can type something as basic as, “I’m horny,” and I’ll be like “Oh fuck, girl, you are NASTY,” so a chick actually saying some BDSM shit is shoot your dick off hot. Not even a slight exaggeration I’d probably rather read hot girls talking about fucking than actually watch them fuck. I’m serious. Is that weird to say? Whatever, no take backs. If Samantha Hoopes just types a ton of shit like this in Instagram comments I’ll never visit PornHub again. I mean when you can read 50 Shades written by THIS girl

Then what the hell do you need pornography for? Read that filth. Masturbate your mind and your penis.

PS – That dude ain’t even that hot.

PPS – She’s also retweeted this before. Certified freak. I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it.

h/t Conor